This game is one of the best android games I have played in a long time. It’s as simple as anyone could ask for and it’s addictive like you would never believe. I mean what’s not to love about a baseball throwing granny… Oh did I mention she is wearing roller skates.

Okay then let’s get into what this game is about. You play Granny Smith an OAP on roller skates and the objective is to get to the end of each level collecting as many coins as possible and all the apples before this little kid with a dodgy Lone Ranger mask. To do this you have two button control, The left thumb is to whip your cane so as to move quicker and grab onto any over head zip lines (When on zip line hold button down or you will fall), The right thumb is to jump cracks, cars, boxes and do 720 mid air spins while breaking through some glass windows and trying to land back on your skates…. Because if you don’t you lose your footing, fall over and the little kid catches up. Sounds simple enough right. After progressing through some of the levels you unlock up to three worlds, in the second of which you can start to collect baseballs that you can throw ahead of you to break glass making things slightly easier for yourself.
Upon collecting the apples and coins you finish the level and rewarded with gold coins and a shiny gold medal then you are brought back to a Super Mario Bros 1 type world map. Actually this little game is basically a Mario game but instead of a plumber you are a granny, it’s your simple 2d side scroller where completing the last level unlocks the next and as you unlock the worlds you can earn coins to unlock new playable characters like Scruffy the dog and Stanley the old man but the same rules apply.

I honestly think the good people at Mediocre have made a superb well rounded addictive frustrating game. I especially like how when you complete the level the replay is played back in an old vintage styleee for your enjoyment and the jazz music on the main menu is just a touch of genius. My eldest daughter loved this game and I couldn’t put it down. At 79p on Android I would seriously recommend this game to anyone.

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The intro sequence is reminiscent to the classic New Zealand Story as the small army romp across the screen to steal your Zelda inspired princess. From there your adventure takes a much more Mario inspired turn. The gameplay mixes the running and jumping of Mario with the sword play of both Rastan and Ghouls and Ghosts. The main character can hack and slash his way through the pixelated perpetrators building up the size (and its damage) as you go until reaching the spinning gate found in the first Sonic the Hedgehog games. Throughout the level there are familiar tubes to go down and explore and power up blocks which need to be head butted to activate; again, very familiar stuff.

Each level opens up a new path on the top down map and large coins can be collected in another Zelda-esqe styling.

The pixel graphics are all very tidy and the backgrounds have been heavily borrowed from Mario but there are a number of nice touches such as the dancing bushes, and various farm animals that give the game a cuteness.

Music and sound are all pretty good but the music, despite being a solid tune has a certain modern guitar riff that doesn’t quite fit the retro theme.

There is plenty of questing to do in this game and I could see throughout my first play through that areas have been made inaccessible in order to add to its replay ability which is great news.

Sadly, I did encounter a few slowdown issues on my iPhone 4 that did detract from the game. However, this was rare so not a huge issue.

Overall, this is a great little game that will keep you busy for some time and of you are a fan of the classic games you will find lots here that remind you of the olden days of gaming. The guys are Monster Robot Games have obviously put a lot of time and love into this game and as such it should be on any retro gaming fan purchase list. If I had to describe it to someone quickly I would say; if Mario, Sonic, Ghosts and Goblins, New Zealand Story and Zelda had an orgy, Heavy Sword would be the resulting love child…

if Mario, Sonic, Ghosts and Goblins, New Zealand Story and Zelda had an orgy, Heavy Sword would be the resulting love child…

Download Link: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/heavy-sword/id593786979?mt=8

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